Snow Shorts

The cold weather is just around the corner, and already the summer clothes are being moved into clearance. But just because the warm, lighter clothes are cheaper doesn't mean you should wear them. When there is snow on the ground, you should not continue wearing athletic shorts because they look  "cool." There is nothing "cool" about freezing your ass off to maintain your masculinity. You don't need any fancy pants, sweatpants or joggers are just fine. But please, cover yourself. No one wants to have to hear you complain because you're cold or you got frost bite on your knee caps. It's Michigan after all.

"Politicians"

Fair warning: This blog is expressing my personal opinion on political matters. Don't be an ass, because I promise I can out-ass you and you will look like a fool.


It is approaching that special time that comes every four years. The election to decide who will be the one fortunate to gain the title of "The Person Who Ran Our Country into the Ground." Having only just turned eighteen a month ago, I am among many first time voters that is stuck with a choice between the lesser of two evils. We are faced with the difficult choice of the unsuccessful ass of a businessman, and the late-middle aged woman who just wants her old house back. And don't try and tell me that there is always "Third Party" choices, because all third parties are are just ways for minorities to think that have a voice in our government while the Big Two always make them irrelevant. But anyways, back to the topic at hand. Both Trump and Clinton are lacking in not just a couple small policies, but all policies. They never seem to have concrete opinions of their own. And yes, I know plenty about how many people like Trump because he "Says what he wants," but in all honesty he is just pushing the same exact policies the Republican Party has been pushing for years, only he uses smaller words and his celebrity status to make them seem like his own. Hillary on the other hand is spewing nonsense that is fed to her, but none of the policies are her own. So therefore, I support neither candidate at all, but know I will be forced to live under their rule for at least the next four years. And so, to those that have picked a side, I ask you, do you know what the hell it is you're supporting? Do you choose one side just because its what you have been told to pick? Or are you a die hard believer of these two "Politicians," claiming to know their values and their policies when they themselves do not know? I myself do not care who you support or why you support them, just for Christ's sake if you're going to wear a Trump or Hillary button, know what it is you support, and who it is that you're supporting.

The Incredibly Small Cup

From those of use who have been fortunate enough to visit the new Valley Dining Center, let me be the first to tell you that it is great. Sure the food is a little mediocre, and there is so much constant hustle and bustle you can hardly hear yourself think, but the building is nice, and the options are plentiful. So with so much that has been put into it, you'd think it would be flawless, but it's not. There is one major thing that they really messed up on in the planning. No, its not the distance from main campus, nor the lack of hyper-friendly staff that we have grown to expect, and it's not even the floors that seem to never be swept. It is something much more severe than all of that put together. 

It's the cups.

So you and your friends are hungry, and decide to go check out the new Dining Center you've heard so much about. After walking through the bountiful choices, you decide to get a hot dog from the "Blazin' Bronco." It's not bad, but its quite dry, and so you see the recognized light of a soda dispenser not too far away. Your dry mouth begins to water in anticipation of the fizzy and familiar taste of Pepsi, and you move towards it. The many options entice you, and you decide to go for an Orange Crush today. You excitedly reach for a cup. But wait... What is this shit in your hand!? This is no cup! This is a very tiny, very narrow bowl! Out of confusion you grab the next, and the next before realizing there's no escape! It is this, or nothing. In desperation, you decide to give it a try. After taking less than two seconds to fill, you head back to your seat. You begin to take another bite from your hot dog, but there it is again, that yearning for a cool refreshment in your mouth. You take a sip, and before you can even get one gulp in the drink is gone! You get up to try and refill your cup, but the walk is so far you cannot make it before the thirst overcomes you. Not even half way, you begin to stumble, dehydration taking hold. In an act of desperation, you launch yourself at the fountain of liquid love, managing a single, coarse "Help" before you pass to the floor,  You have become yet another victim of the Incredibly Small Cup.

The Wooden Wicked Candle

Candles date back centuries, far predating all "modern" technology. Their original purpose of bringing luminescence to the world has nearly faded, being replaced by the simplicity of the electric lightbulb. However, throughout time, they have still managed to evolve as the human race grew. What started as a simple bonfire was suddenly a torch, then suddenly next it became an oil lamp, and then TA-DA!!! We have the wax candle. Things have constantly changed about it, whether it is becoming scented, a longer lasting wick, or even multiple layers. However, these constant and unnecessary innovations need to stop, as they have reached a point that is much too far. The "Crackling Wick" --or whatever these unnecessary off brands of Yankee Candle are calling it-- has become such a large sensation in recent years and has exploded across mainstream suburbia. These candles may seem cute and innocent, but they have malicious intentions. Say you're trying to study and would like a nice, gentle aroma floating around the room. You see across the room your candle, light it, and go to sit back down but there it is. A gentle crackling, doing its best to drive you up a wall and make sure you cannot focus. Crackling candles are a good idea gone terribly wrong, and need to be stopped.